New Year's Resolutions 2008

I always wonder what it's like meeting me for the first time, or people starting to realize the strange way in which my mind works (or doesn't). Such will happen as you read this entry.

In the past, I've always started my new year's resolutions a week or two in advance (sometimes longer), in an attempt to fix problems in my plans to get things right on January 1. I'm tired of hearing about people who make and break resolutions so easily, or their resolution is to not make resolutions (already breaking their own resolution NOT to make resolutions). So in this mindset (or insanity), here are my resolutions, how I've done the past two weeks, and what helped/hindered. I don't think we ever accomplish goals unless we prevent or test our theories (I'm an excellent software tester - see why?). P.S. Thanks to Kevin Carter for the idea to post this year's resolutions. My goals are all about consistency, feeling that order, patterns, and such will provide less anxiety and more self esteem through setting and keeping goals.

As learned from the gospel, fix what bothers you the most. I'm always trying to fix things that I don't like about myself, but note there are a lot of things to fix (like my self esteem). I really like new years resolutions though, as it's a good time to take a crack at what's still bothering you from last year or new changes that need to be made. I think it was my dad, when Bishop, who told someone struggling to read the scriptures every day to call him every day they missed. He said he only had one phone call before they never wanted it to happen again. So aptly starts my list:

1. Read the scriptures daily. I haven't been perfect or near perfect at reading the scriptures daily. I didn't want to set a time limit or requirement, nor how much should be read. This isn't to say I can read a verse and call it good. My hope is that as I become more consistent the way in which my reading expands my understanding also could change the way I read.

Last week: 5/7.
So far this year: 2/2.

2. Stop biting my fingernails. It's sad...yes...I bite my fingernails. For two brief weeks this year I didn't bite my fingernails and they looked great and I felt less stressed. I think it was the week after I graduated and before the twins were born. Correlation? Maybe. The hardest part about this is it's something to stop, not something to do. If I put my scriptures where I see them, set my alarm, and get up to read, it's easier to get to it. Biting my fingernails out of anxiety is very hard to stop. No, I won't paint my fingernails. No, it's hard to type at work while wearing gloves. I think I'll need some comments on how to make this work.
Last week: 0/7.
So far this year: 0/2.

3. Monthly temple attendance. With Lisa feeding the twins, it has been hard choosing to make time for the temple each month. Sure, I'd like to go more, but my goal is this and I want to be consistent. We're hoping to go Saturday, with my parents watching the kids that afternoon. No stats yet this year, minus I've made calls to try to setup babysitting.

4. House projects. Well...this one is a bit harder to make as a goal. I want to do better, and want to be able to complete goals, not just do better. I will set aside four hours for working on house projects on Saturday, cleaning the house, etc. (whatever needs to be done). If more time is needed, we'll look at taking time off, or something else to make things work. My "prevent defense" on this one is to get Lisa to commit to The List of Projects, in order of priority, so I can prepare to do the work assigned. If she can help get the supplies beforehand, it'll greatly help things move faster.

5. Quality time. I'm sure it won't work this way every day, but this is how my goal lays out:

A. An hour with the three kids (mostly with the twins, as normally one needs to be held, plug inserted (binky), etc)
B. An hour with Sydney once the twins go to bed (depends on when the twins go to bed, not to keep Sydney up too late)
C. An hour with Lisa. If she wants to scrapbook instead, so be it.

I was browsing the web a few weeks ago to see how much time the average father spends with his children. I looked over statistics from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), and found it unhelpful. It didn't specify fathers working full time, approximate age of children, etc. My goal is to spend quality time with my family. For Lisa to get a break, I can't just spend time with one of the kids except for with Sydney after the twins have gone to bed or when they're taking a nap on Saturday. For now, here's my plan. If I get up at 6:00, read scriptures, lift weights, shave, shower, and eat, I should be ready to work at 7:15. If I'm done with work by 4:15/4:30, I can help with the kids while Lisa makes dinner, and then get to spend time with the kids until they go to bed. Then hopefully some one on one with Sydney until she goes to bed. Then time with Lisa.

As always, I'd love your feedback, tips on how to do these things better, as well as other resolutions you wished I'd have made ;)